As high school seniors receive college admissions notifications and make acceptance decisions, they are then faced with choosing a roommate, a decision that could dictate the course of their freshman year. The process can be nerve-racking and stressful with the pressure of finding that perfect roommate almost blanketing the joy that comes with being accepted to a school.

Community School of Davidson (CSD) Julia Vecchiarello admits to the stress, especially if trying to find a roommate through the Internet.

“It’s just hard because basically now everything and finding a roommate is done through Instagram,” Julia Vecchiarello (‘25) said. “You can’t really understand everything about a person or if you guys would get along just through an app and DM’s because you don’t get to interact face-to-face.”

Choosing a roommate often happens in one of two primary ways. Some students enter college and choose to room with a friend (or friends) who are going to the same school, and this is often easier and less stressful, while others begin a process of choosing someone they have never met.

Multiple online websites exist that allow prospective students to connect with potential roommates online. There are also “Class of [graduation year]” pages on Instagram dedicated to posting photo slideshows and bios for students attending a specific university. From there, students can choose to reach out to other students who may have similar interests or be studying the same major.

An April 2024 article by The New York Times highlights a flaw in the self-choosing system. Many universities are diligent about achieving diversity within their student body, so when prospective students tend to reach out to people fairly similar to them, there isn’t much differentiation.

This article also mentions that the step into college and adulthood may be benefited more by living with somebody unlike yourself. This can give students more exposure to different perspectives before being launched into adulthood, where they will encounter a variety of personalities and new experiences.

A small population of perhaps more daring or easy going students choose to be randomly assigned a roommate(s) their freshman year. Some universities provide these students with forms that discuss living habits, preferences, etc. and create roommate matches based on these responses.

Katie Zoumboulis, a current freshman at UNC Wilmington, chose the school’s random option for her roommate experience. She doesn’t interact much with her roommate, but has been able to enjoy her college experience regardless, with extracurricular activities and other friends she has made in her time there so far.

“It’s been alright. Like we don’t have any issues because we just don’t talk at all,” Katie Zoumboulis said. “I wish I would have tried harder at finding a suitemate over Instagram. But either way it worked out pretty fine.”

For those making the search on their own, the pressure of picking the “right” person ramps up quickly as admitted student events are scheduled and housing forms open.

Emily McMullin, CSD upper school counselor, emphasizes what students should consider when talking with prospective roommates.

“I think it’s really important to prioritize compatibility, not just friendship. It’s tempting to pick a roommate based solely on who you’re friends with or who you get along with the most, but compatibility is more important,” Emily McMullin said.

The potential roommate questionnaires can be wildly different, varied and confusing. Questions often range from asking about academic majors and music preferences to cleanliness habits and sleep schedules. Some even ask for favorite colors and decorating styles.

McMullin believes that lifestyle and habit type questions should be part of a conversation between potential roommates, as opposed to a simple answer on a form.

“It’s not a bad idea to consider [a potential roommate’s] habits. Are they a night owl? Are they an early riser? Are they introverted and like their private time? Do they like to be around a lot of people or will they have a lot of people over? Those lifestyles and habits are important to have conversations about,” McMullin said.

For some CSD seniors, an unexpected answer to one of these questions can create a make-or-break moment that can sway the roommate decision one way or another.

“I’ve had conversations with a few people, and some people are a little too eager,” Jenni Lewman (‘25) said. “But I don’t want to make assumptions based on their social media presence, because I know I’m way different in person than I am on social media, so it’s a fine line. You’ve got to use your brain and critical thinking,”

The housing style must also be taken into consideration during this process. Even if students agree to be roommates, they must then reach a compromise on whether they want to live in a double (two-person) room, suite (typically between two and eight people) or anything in between. At some universities, living off-campus is also offered for freshmen

“I have to make a decision, and it’s hard because there are different perks and downsides of different dorms. I’ve always pictured living in a suite-style dorm with eight suitemates, but those dorms are further away from classes and everything else on campus,” Vecchiarello said. “The honors dorm that I also could live in is two people to a room and a hall style, and it’s supposed to be nicer. I’ve always kind of pictured the other kind and I think that’d be more fun, but I’m deciding if I want to prioritize convenience of being closer to classes and Franklin Street or just closer to classes and other campus facilities.”

For students who are still waiting on college responses, as opposed to those who applied Early Action or Early Decision, the stress of committing to a school and then finding a roommate continues.

CSD senior, Madeline McKinley (‘25), knows that she won’t be the only one going through this process once she receives all of her application decisions and has to act quicker..

“It’s just a tad bit stressful because everyone is committing to college, and they’re finding their roommates and I don’t have that. But the good thing about it is that the schools that come out in March – like UCLA or UC Berkeley – all of the things are coming out in March, so I won’t be alone in that sense,” Madeline McKinley said. “But I’m very particular about my sleeping arrangements, so I don’t want a roommate that’ll vape or has a cat or something like that, something that I’m like ‘no.’ I just don’t want to be stuck with that.”

McMullin believes that if a student has been accepted to a certain school then they should feel confident enough in making a roommate decision without going to extremes or assuming additional stress.

“I’m a big proponent of gut, just trusting your gut. When you are assessing a lot of factors through conversations, sometimes it just comes down to, kind of, how you feel about a person. Your instincts are valuable,” McMullin said.

Although the roommate process has so many factors, freshman year roommates are simply a part of the entire college experience. Some students might find a new best friend, but worst case scenario, a roommate-gone-wrong could be a laughable story years later.